happy birthday singapore!

it is august already. hello august.

ive abandoned this diary for a rather long time. a levels and prelims prep are taking a toll on me. i have to resign from this virtual world for the moment  till 3rd december. 

today is a sunday and another mundane week follows tomorrow.

but last week was kinda different.
i was running a bad fever as high as 38.9C on sunday night after a long phonecall and stayed at home for the subsequent 2 days. i actually didnt do much at home besides sleeping most of the time because the medcines made me drowsy. as far as i can remember, this is my first fever of the year. to my surprise, on the tuesday that i was absent, only 5 out of 23 students in my class were present! the rest had cough, flu and fever. yeah the condition of my class was that severe! when i came on wednesday, there were barely ten people in class and same goes for the following days. we were placed in an isolated room. haha okay i like to call it  'the isolated room'. but yes, we were in that room for every lessons. some teachers were kinda scared and paranoid that we might spread the germs or whatever. and there were even rumours that 30/08 had cases of H1N1 flu. which is not true. in a small class, i feel more engaged in lessons and less difficult to fall asleep haha. but at times, it gets quite boring. so i wish a speedy recovery for 30/08! and may there be a full attendance on monday!

i know i came here, wanting to post something long. i even typed two paragraphs of the latest happenings in my life. but i decided to press and hold the 'backspace' key and get it all erased.

anywayyy
channel 5 aired the season finale of prison break last night. and honestly, i cried watching the last moments of scofield. he was willing to sacrifice his life for his wife and unborn child. his video was very heartfelt and the intensity in his eyes remains alluring to me. after all he had done and been put through, i thought he at least deserved a peaceful night with the ones he love. apart from the fact that he was very very hot, the reason i cried was because i felt a close attachment to him and the whole series. ive been faithfully catching every episodes since secondary school, painstakingly convincing some people to watch it and giving up my nights to catch him in action. and then... it came to a tragic end. fine fine, you will find this nonsensical. but im serious, so serious that i was even thinking about him in school today. :(

adapted from scofield,
sometimes we find ourselves hiding our true feelings, and didnt really get to say what we really feel,
we write them in letters, codes and origami.

plainly and simply, i love you.

that thought was the last before i took my nap and the first when i woke up. just keeping it here, for the record, since ive been too satisfied with life that i forgot how that feels like. like i had mentioned to atiq, that thing just leads to another and so on, such that at one moment it felt overwhelming. but anyway, talking to her was the most relieving thing. im gonna say this again to you, even if i dont look for you lately or not been telling you things, it doesnt mean i dont need you. having a friend to talk with especially with regards to this is helpful.

anyway the results for midyears are out except for econs. did pretty badly compared to the same time last year. bio was the most disappointing, it was the first U i got for my major exams in my course of junior college. cant believe i cried in school just because of that. haha the last time i did cry in school was because of a break up. it is a few more months to A levels and i cant wait for it to be over.

so please god, let me go through this months with strength, focus and discipline.

the only interesting thing that happen today was, taking height and weight. i did not grow but my weight did. tremendously. as i reach 18 soon, i think my high rate of metabolism is like disappearing into thin air. thats the only thing i used to glorify about. haha i now understand when girls complain about their weight and size and why they control their diet.

when all other things today suck,i just got to think of you to feel glowy inside. it is even better when you lean closer or the best is when i get to admire your eyes when you stare into space and quickly look away when you turn towards me.

okay give me a short break from studying econs. time is 12.45 am. the 2 exams i had today somehow drained my energy. it was tiring to think and by the time it was biology in the afternoon, i had begun to yawn. i actually had a 2 minute talk/ negotiation with myself because one part of me wants to rest my head on the table and take a power nap, but the other part told me to persevere for a couple more hours. fyi, the latter wins haha.

while i was busy destressing and doing my mundane routine of lj/tumblr/blog hopping, i chanced upon this...



11.11! how many of you still believe in the so-called magical meaning behind this?
sometimes if im lucky enough to catch the clock turning 11.11 am/pm, i would whisper some wishes under my breath. well people believe that if you make a wish at that time, it will come true. i know its silly and pure imaginative. so yeah, i only do so at times. okay no, on rare occassions actually.

alright, i better continue with my revision.

Today is a saturday and saturday means chilling outside, but no, im at home and have to study.

Today i spent 2 hours filing all my papers and cleaning the mess on my table and everywhere.

Today i felt like holidays have just started cos im not done with my revision.

strangely, im looking forward for school to start. even if it means i have to cringe at my seat for hours, doing the exams. even if it means i have to rush to school every morning, trying to catch the 7.03 am train ( but im planning to go to school early in term 3, we will see about that). even if it means i have to restrain myself from falling asleep during subsequent lectures and tutorials.

like everyone else, im busy mugging for the mid years. had enough fun last week during pre u sem and didnt even touch the books i brought to nus because firstly, i was too tired at the end of the day and secondly, i was busy entertaining late night phonecall haha. i miss my pre u sem friends! lucky they are planning an outing next week:) at this moment, im not even halfway through my revision, though half of the month-long holiday has gone. despite my worry for the shortage of time, i am still going to spend my weekends chilling, having fun. btw people, there will be fireworks display at yishun to celebrate the closing ceremony for the singapore arts festival. i love fireworks and never miss them each year, so tomorrow is a definite must! and sunday, i am going to cycle. ah yes, time for some exercise in the midst of stress plus, i need to lose weight. cant wait cant wait!
another thing that i wanted to say here is... please be reminded every day that even while we are busy studying and life seems to be too muddled, there are still people who care and love you and i am sure, vice versa. and take notice about the numerous beauty in life. last thursday, there was a full moon and it was unusually brightly lit and appeared larger. i kept paying attention to it even while crossing the road. and i wonder why no one else seem to notice or bother about it. and did anyone even notice that the moon which accompany you every night while you walked by the supermarket, crossed the road have been missing for a few days of late?
i might sound insane and unlike the syidah who is always full of nonsense. ahh just that im thankful for life.

cos i miss yesterday already. the hours we took to put the costume, make up, hairdo together.
all of you, hani, syaf, khai, jaswin, shahidah, asyraf, haikal, rashid, are so wonderful in your own significant manner. that i will always remember the sweetest things of us nine. i cant believe this is really the end of us performing together. but you know what, it is all worthwhile in the end.

tonight ended on a good note.
forget about the hiccups during the dance.
at least it was relieving to see a familiar face, at the end of the long day, just smiling back at you telling you how much he was beaming with pride from his seat.

today i woke up with such severe eye bags. had to press ice cubes against them. came back home 10 plus last night, i predict that tonight i will come home nearing 12. anyway. the aj concert at rp is today today in less than 12 hours' time! all that i intend to say is, i love aj tarian:) on the whole, i look forward to every session. to laugh to have fun to enjoy each time. sadly, today is going to be the last time we are ever going to be on the stage together. i will definitely post a longer entry  next time since tarian will leave a huge mark in my life.
cos im running late. its 7.45 am and i still have not bathed and pack my bags. haha im going to be late for macs breakfast with the people!

sunday, please come quickly........

in an econs essay, i wrote 'according to le chaterlier's principle, the demand for imports and exports have to be price elastic.'
actually 'le chaterlier's principle' is a concept in chemistry. i mixed them up. in econs, it is ' marshall lerner's condition'.

a friend told me he is going to get a carpenter's album. i thought it was a photo album and maybe made of wood. so i ask ' cos you want to make a collage of photos?'. he laughed. and turned out Carpenter is a 70s band.

:)

i just got the email.
and im feeling so pressurized and stress that i dont know what i should do.
seems like i have too much commitments at the wrong time.

due to pre u sem, i am going to stay over in nus prince george's park residences for 5 days during june holidays. in single rooms. scary... but sounds exciting:)
on the other hand, i am going to miss a huge chunk of lectures in school at the same time.
i am going to miss:
- 4 hours of maths lecture
- 4 hours of gp lecture
this is worrying me. i dont really mind about maths, cos i just need to copy notes and practice the sums on my own. but gp... copying doesnt help. and at the standard i am now, theres still a longggg way to go.

all im looking forward to is the msia june trip. in june again, just 6 days after i return from my nus stay. am i crazy or what to take up so much responsibilities? do you know, i still have more after june? when im suppose to be studying for the As which is only months away. while some are starting to feel apathetic about the trip, im feeling rather excited for it. one because being the aic, i dont have another choice. second because its a new experience. thirdly, well i guess its best i keep this to myself haha:)

currently, im just packed with the trip's preparation and dance practices for aj's 25th concert in rp cultural centre. these basically sums up the things that are making me occupied. it is boring. im suppose to be rejoicing over the fact im turning 18, but im growing fatter and have to study.

nevertheless, as much as there are so many things on my mind now, i just got as much things to be thankful for. ive been very contented with life and i look forward to going to school everyday. for reasons only a few know:) and so, i do not miss any more school, lectures, tutorial and PE like last year. i thought 2009 was disastrous, but look, this is a blessing in disguise. you were a suprise and still are.

ive just recovered from what seemed like the most rushing, packed hour of my life. i never felt the pressure of a tight deadline and the significance of merely one minute until just now. all the planning i did a month ago was not adhered to. but its okay, i would not want to miss this adventure either. but, i was given a ride home, so i dont have to painstackingly take the mrt.

so tgif. a lot of things to do. whats new?

and semarak temasek people, you you you you and you, all the best for the drama competition tomorrow!:)

OH MY GOSH. PRISON BREAK IS FINALLY OUT!
THE LAST 6 EPISODES ARE HERE NOW. IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THOSE HOT BROTHERS FOR 4 MONTHS ALREADY.
ITS AN AWESOME SHOW. IT DOESNT MATTER IF THEY SAY MICHAEL SCOFIELD IS GAY. HIS INTENSE GLARE IS STILL ALLURING. 


MUST WATCH, GOING TO WATCH.

anyway, the reason for the lack of updates here is because i prefer to update in my personal private blog.
never mind if i feel like im talking to myself there. cos somehow, i can express myself better knowing i dont have to be on the look out.

i dont have any idea how it happen, but it did.
cos it did, that im happy.
things will unfold itself and hopefully everything fall into place nicely.

so ive been trying to catch up on my studies. 6 months or so left. one month for each subject and 1 month left to cramp everything. okay can do can do.